A Return to Civilization

I am happy to announce that I returned to the home with both kids. I must be honest, before I left for the vacation I half expected that I would need to leave Big Sis UpNorth in order to preserve sanity. But, beyond my wildest hopes, the weekend went really well. Big Sis and I got along splendidly. We managed a four hour car ride up, we spent several hours fishing in a tiny boat, many more hours on the car ride home and did so without argument.

There were a couple of discipline issue that were difficult for me to turn aside, but I managed. The important thing for the weekend was to develop a friendship and not establish my authority. There were many topics brought up that instantly tripped one of my prerecorded lectures, but I prevented them from playing anywhere other than inside my head.

I was able to see the results of this weekend almost immediately. When Big Sis, Baby Boy and I returned home it didn't take long before Big Sis wanted to go on the computer and from there is was only a matter of time before Mom asked Big Sis to turn it off. Boom! The powder keg is ignited. Mom and Big Sis are at it, Big Sis doesn't get what she wants and throws the "Why" machine into high gear followed by many an "I hate you" and "Worst mother ever."

I stepped outside and did my best to not step in on mom's behalf. It is really hard for me to let the discipline fall on her shoulders, but now is not the time to be the disciplinarian with Big Sis. Here is the great thing that happened. Big Sis usually requires a long, calming period before she is willing to talk with anyone during these episodes. This time, she was willing to talk with me and separate me from the argument between her and Mom. I let her vent, and held off on my opinions. She currently thinks she is living under the most unbelievable strict rules and has the worst parents ever. She constantly asks to live somewhere else, though she knows she can't. But, her solution was different this time. Instead of talking about her leaving her suggestion was that Mom leaves.

It would be easy to read more into this than is really there. We have not come so far in this short time to be able to conclude that she accepts me as the parent and that she would be willing to live under my house and rules. I am pretty sure, that she didn't carry out what would be the real consequences of having her mother move out. But, I do believe that it shows she is separating me from the mean authoritarian she once saw me as and is able to separate me from the argument and her emotional reaction to the house rules.